Updates from last post....

I am so confused of my life, i want to study and get a higher qualification for my life; but i dunno wat to do.... so sad... there are so so many things happening in my life... sad and also happy... i also dunno wat to say abt it... hmm my surroundings are filled with so many biased cases and i felt like shutting my ears of listening... I wanna get a saving plan but i wanns think of who to look to... hmm today i went to buy a dress which i wanted to buy so lo0ng ago.. haha... finally got it!!!! hmm i am waiting for nov14 as my uncle is going to plan a genting highland trip... i wanna go but i scare i not enough money... sad la... lolx... I want to be more and more cheerful.. i want my surrounding frens to know that they are able to trust me in my words.. i wanna to go so many places.. but all cannnot be fulfilled until i get a specific plan... Jesus; help mi!! hahaha... I feel that even i want God's help i need to change abit my character ba... i know that i am so stupid in certains ways such as keep on thinking abt ben or so... hahaha... sian... HAAAAAH..... SO FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY... SIAN HAAHH.... i believe i can be changed soon after i forget ppl or replace some other one into my hearts so that i can be more happy and contented in my heart... i believe i will turn back Jesus soon after i forget one whom i really can't forget right now... Jesus God; please give mi some more time... help mi even i am not worthy... Jesus I thank u for the knowledge and wisdom that u blessed mi that other might not have.. Thank You Lord for everything.. I will love You forever.. i know even times i may fail You but You will never give up on me as You are a God Who LOVES... Thank You for Your grace and mercy Jesus...


To Be Continued...

new life...... confused and unstable..

Recently i am so busy, i almost forget the connections that i have. Hmm i seem like become more and more closed up to the world that is open. I feel that i am always quitting as i don't have a strong determination. If my determination is strong and firm, I believe i will be a better person. Hmmm it seems like even to update this blog is a hard chore for me. Hmm i wish i can accomplish something great as i believe my life is at another chapter of life. This year, i celebrate my birthday w/o a birthday cake. haha.. I feel its quite pathetic and sad. haha.. However i am glad that this year i got a lot of frens wishing me. Wow, i feel that Jesus is a great God as the cg N139 ppl still can remember my birthday and giving me a present. It shows that God has not forget my birthday. Haha.. Hmm i will not forget God; however i am really cramp with works and excuses not to attend church and cgm. I feel like i am going more and more further away from God. I have done lots of errors and wish to cut that down, however it seems so difficult.. I'm stuck in so many thoughts that are negative in certain ways. Today i am so glad that i am able to update my life... All this while i blog is for my own purpose... All my friends are welcome to read, however the main purpose is for me to read in the near future to see how my life goes about.... I have work in 2 locations now, EM service and Carrefour.. Somehow i feel that i am not suitable @ EM services as the job is good but its always sitting down. I am a very plump already, if i keep on working there, i am so scare that i will be fatter and fatter. NO WAY!! haha.... Today is quite a good day as there are only a few calls and i am able to learn on my own. Everytime when there are new challenges i will feel so emo as the fear is there. Hm recently i don't know why, there is a fear of death. I dreamt of so many weird dreams as all are so connected to my life and surrounding friends. Haha.. I feel so sad of my life... Anyone can help?? Sobx... I feel that now is the time to train my focus and determination. i feel so irritated by myself.. I want to achieve high but i don't know why i am so "low" right now. I want to find a course and study asap so that i believe that another chapter coming in next year will be better.. hahahaha... I feel so sian in so many things... I feel that in certain ways i am so helpless and useless... Somethings in life are fated, but i believe that miracle will happens and i am waiting for mine to be comingsoon.. I hope that next time i blog it will be a stable life and exciting moments... I will need to train my patience from now on... hahaha... and also my determinations and also focus... Lastly of my blog today is that i wanna thank my God for everything that is happening in my life from the past to now... Good and improvements that i can see in myself from the first day i know Him in my secondary life... Thank You Lord for Your grace and mercy, and Your kindness shown into my life, Your Love that never ends brings me to a better life.. I will come back to You as soon as I come to my senses bah.. Now i am still not waken up fully as You know... I believe that there will be a day whereby i am transformed to a person that You want me to be.. Thank You Lord of my life...




To Be Continued.....